Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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