Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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