oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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