Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
