my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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