so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
too bad you live with your parents still
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
