you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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