last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
