I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
