One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I think your dad took our porno
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Randomize
