remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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