I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You may now shotgun with the bride
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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