conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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