census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's rum buckets o'clock
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
