I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Randomize