found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I have fence marks all over my body
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
