I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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