One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm too high and old for this...
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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