Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just want to make out with him forever
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
