I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We had to coat check the pizza.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
