btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
