Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Randomize
