A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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