just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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