# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Randomize
