I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
