ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
