What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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