I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
