I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
