tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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