Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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