its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
