this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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