Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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