I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
