So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
