i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
my sisters under your porch take her home
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
