trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
