I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
