hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
