I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
