She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
