i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
