Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Four minutes until I can fart!
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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