I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
