this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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