Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
