My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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