I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
