Sorry, I don't speak sober.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
