are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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