THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
