He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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