Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
