I cockslap morals
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
