sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
