She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
