youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
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