I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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