apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
