I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize