Ambien. No doubt about it.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
