do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
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