Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
