my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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