I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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