you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
